Many of us are vulnerable to bullying and manipulation. We have dyslexia in reading social signals, body language, facial expressions, intonation etc. This makes us very vulnerable to misstreatment. We may not even realise until much later when we are suffering the damage. This is part of what makes us vulnerable adults. I’ve just recently had someone doing her AA steps tell me she was sorry for excluding me about 5 years ago. I had no understanding at the time that it was happening. Also because many of us have sensory issued which cause discomfort even pain.
Try to understand we are not just putting on a show or seeking attention. In fact mostly we are looking for the opposite, I.e. timeout, a quiet place to relax and gather our thoughts. A meltdown is just an overload of input. Which I found interesting. I am curious how these attitudes line up with how allistics interact with autistics even when you do not know if we are autistic or not. These people were in Western countries and had the specialists who had the knowledge to study autism. This time around I’m still not exactly prepared but I’m more awareand have much more knowledge.