Chicken best cluckin’ dad ever vintage shirt

So all those years of thinking my dad took it in the butt. Every effeminate mannerism he ever had I just chalked it up to that and tried to put it out of my mind. We lived in an apartment in the middle of our city, and people do not keep chickens on their balconies in Zagreb. As far as I know. We do not sport cows, pigs and turkeys as balcony decorations either. My grandparents had relatives in the countryside, and when some of them came to visit, or when some of my family returned from a visit, they would bring back different farm products: eggs, cheese, vegetables, and chickens. Those chickens were 100% of the time very dead, featherless, and ready to cook – or freeze. However, for some weird reason, one day a real, live, feather-full chicken turned up on our balcony. As I was a kid utterly obsessed with animals, and deeply longing for a dog, I naturally decided this chicken was the love of my life, named it, and formed a close bond – all this in a matter of minutes.

Chicken best cluckin’ dad ever vintage shirt

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It did not matter at all. When you love something, shit does not matter. Or so I thought. These days I prefere things I love to be shit free. Tic-tac, cluckedy-cluck, time slowly came for lunch to be prepared. It is then when my dad told me that we were having Pipa for lunch. I was devastated and heartbroken. Then I got sent out to play, while Pipa lost her head and feathers and became lunch. I have no recollection of eating her, but I remember that I stole one of her legs from the trash, put it in a small box and hid it under my bed. This freaky-morbid act was well thought out – I had a plan. I would burry Pipa’s leg in a real little funeral ceremony. That night my mom came to my room to tuck me in, but I had trouble going to sleep. What seemed as a great noble idea during the day, became weird and strange as the night came. I was about to be left in the dark with a piece of chicken corpse under my bed.


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